Every Little Thing

Oh you’re my sunlight
You’re my everything’s going to be alright
The only thing I need is my life
From day to night my troubles disappear when you hold me tight
And I know I’ll never find another like you
So I promise that I’ll never let you go
You’re all I need, ’cause baby without you I’m just not me

At about 5:20 today I let Brendol go.

My Special Brendol (12/2000 – 8/20/2013)

We spent all night and all day cuddling on the bed.  I gave her a million kisses and she gave me kisses as well.

I was somewhat embarrassed at how loudly I sobbed today.  But she was my baby girl.  My sweet pea.  My poochy butt.  Even in the end she was happy and accepting of everyone.  She sat up in the front seat the entire way to the vets and occasionally looked around at the passing cars.  She was happy at the office and very alert.  It made it so very hard, but I know that her not being able to stand any longer was the end for us.  They ask you to let them know when you are ready… you are never ready.  Just one more moment.  One more lick across my face.  One more fart on the linoleum floor in the office (which she did).  But I pushed myself forward and we laid on the floor together… and then she fell asleep in my arms for the last time.

I love you my Brendol.

Last night cuddle time
] On way to vets

 

 

Our last moments together

Author: Karma

My furry family and I live in Atlanta. I care for a 12 year old pittbull mix (Brendol) who underwent an amputation of her front right leg for bone cancer. I also care for a 10 1/2 year old chow/border collie mix (Aissa) and two sister cats that are 3 (Mathilde and Morrigan).

9 thoughts on “Every Little Thing”

  1. Ohhhh my dear Karma, mh dear, dear Karma. We are all sobbing loudly too

    The grace and courage you have shown as you honored Brendol’s request to be released is not of this world. I’m just speechless and in such awe of the selflessness and devotion you have given Brendol when she needed it most.

    Thank you for sharing those very precious pictures with us. in a ridiculous way, it may us feel like we were there with you…..we were able to give her a hug and a kiss……..a salute to a life well lived and a job well done. Thank you.

    I love how you “speak from your heart” through songs. There’s one by (I can’t spell it) Julio Eglasis….You Are My Hero….I hope you know it because it’s very fitting.

    Make no mistake about this Karma, you and Brendol, and your whole pack, have added life, love, hope and the healing power of fun and joy to the tripawd landscape!!

    Make no mistake that Brendol’s life matters and has made us all better for knowing her.

    Make no mistake, every single time…even right now….when I think of Brendol and all her journey, all her photos—–nothing lights me up more than the image of her with the bubble machine! And the slide show/video! “Momma loves ya’ like a rock…..ohhh baby!” I can’t believe I can still smile through the tears….that’s how strong her spirit of joy and happiness and living life to the fullest is!!

    We love you Karma and are with you with every fiber of our being tonight. Brendol will always be with you and will forever be remembered here. She played full out and savored every single second lf her life. You made it sooooo spectacular!!

    I don’t have the right kind of buvbles here, but I will make the most glorious bubble bath tonight and will see Brendol’s joyful happy face in every single bubble!

    Love to you, to Addy, to Assie and Miss Brendol,

    Sally and Happy Hannah

  2. Just one more “validation” if you will…….she did indeed look like she was enjoying her ride. And she looked soooo content and peaceful in your arms. We should all be surrounded with that kind of love when we cross over. She actually has almost a “puppy” look on that sweet, sweet face.

  3. It is so hard to lose such a big and wonderful part of your life, and nothing I can type here is probably comforting, but know that even as I have never met you or Brendol, only read Brendol’s story on your blog, I sit and cry with my Angel and smile and Brendol’s beautiful face and strength.

  4. Aww Karma. I know if I wasn’t in such pain I would be for you. This damn disease sucks. You loved Brendol a million times over and she loved you just as much back. Its not easy. In fact this plain sucks. Thank you for sharing pictures. I didn’t even get any today

    love
    Michelle & angel sassy

  5. Karma – Big tears are being cried for Brendol and you. Rest well beautiful angel and enjoy running pain free over the bridge.

    Blessings’
    Luanne and Shooter

  6. You are so strong. I admire your courage in being able to let her go. I’m crying for you and Brendol right now. There are no words I can use to comfort you, as I know you are experiencing a tremendous loss. Know that all of us here have felt the sting of your loss and are always here if you need a (virtual) shoulder to cry on.

  7. Dear Karma
    I am new to Tripawds but we talked a few times on the chat line. I am so sorry for your loss, and the pain in losing Brendol. May the good memories that make you smile soon start to be the ones you have each day.

    Eileen (and Ben)

  8. Oh karma,
    I’m so sorry to hear that the time arrived that you had to let your sweet little Brendol go. My heart breaks for you. I had taken a break from Tripawds, which I find that I occasionally have to do, and just now read that she was gone. Seven months have passed since Bruno’s been gone and yet my heart still aches for him. I miss hI’m each and every moment of every day. It will get easier, but the longing for her does remain. You are in my thoughts and prayers. She is forever a part of you.
    Stay strong
    Maricela and Spirit Bruno

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