On a quiet fall night

Brendol, I miss you.

Fall is always hard for me.  I love the smells and coolness in the air, but it makes my heart heavy and brings tears easily to my eyes.  And over the last 12 years, it was a day and night like tonight that I would have curled myself up on the couch with you and held you close.  Feeling your heartbeat next to mine, made the pain less.  And now, you are no longer here for me to hold.

I really have been doing ok.  But I miss you and there are moments that I just can’t keep up the brave face.  Adelaide keeps me busy with her antics and Aissa continues to be my loving wiggle butt, but nopawdy is my baby B.  My best hope is that I will dream of you tonight and in my slumber I can once again hold you in my arms.

Author: Karma

My furry family and I live in Atlanta. I care for a 12 year old pittbull mix (Brendol) who underwent an amputation of her front right leg for bone cancer. I also care for a 10 1/2 year old chow/border collie mix (Aissa) and two sister cats that are 3 (Mathilde and Morrigan).

4 thoughts on “On a quiet fall night”

  1. Nope, nopawdy like your sweet baby B., your wiggle butt.

    Nope, nopawdy like your Brendol who rocks out to Paul Simon, to the Beatles…and whoever else his momma starts sngng along with.

    Nope, nopawdy like your wiggle butt gets a bubble machine with bacon flavored bubbles! NOPAWDY!!

    This stupid comuter is acting wonky again. Just no that Brendol, beautiful glistening brown eyed Brendo, had the best time anh dog could! The bondyou t

  2. Thanks for the cry Karma… geeesh girl… I know exacly how you feel.. exactly…..
    I miss my Franklin… terriby… at this time too… he loved the fall… he loved laying outside on the deck and keeping those squirrels out of the backyard while they were gathering their nuts. Eating pig ears on the grass covred with red and orange leaves…
    I hope you dream of your sweet girl… and get an extra long huggggg!!
    I have not dreamed of Franklin yet.. but I will … one day…
    Christine….. with Franklin in her heart♥

  3. OMD Karma and Christine,

    I know exactly how you feel too. Reading your post and coming up on 8 years since I lost my mighty Rosa Rae I just burst into totally unexpected sobs in the middle of my breakfast. Fall was the last season I had with her, although I didn’t know it at the time.

    Fall is my favorite season full of a melancholy and dreamy sweetness, as things both speed up (squirrels and jays caching acorns) and slow down (plants moving towards winter dormancy). Soft air, slanted light, fall colors. I still hold a crystal clear image in my mind of hiking a trail in the hills with Rosa and Kati, our other dog at the time. Kati ranging ahead and Rosa nowhere to be seen. I turned around and there she was, trailing along behind us, ever the trooper, framed by the oaks overarching the trail, the red, red poison oak, and the yellowing leaves of bigleaf maple and ocean spray. Soft light filtering into the canyon. My ‘little ghost for the offering’*.

    The Oaktown Pack, now 4 strong, has filled my heart again (yup, it took 4 of ’em) but will never, ever, ever take the place of my heart dog, my Rosa.

    I hope you two dream of Brendol and Franklin, I have rarely dreamed of Rosa but she is always in my heart…

    thinking of you both,

    *from REM’s ‘Man on the Moon’

  4. I know exactly how you feel Karma. I miss my snuggle time with Sassy. The cooler weather she always loved to snuggle into the blankets & be my snuggle bear.
    This brought tears to my eyes too.
    I hope you got to dream of Baby B.

    Michelle & Angel Sassy

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