Merry Christmas Baby

Warning, anyone in a happy mood may not want to read.

Brendol, my baby.

It is Christmas and the holidays just aren’t the same.  Don’t worry about me, I’m ok.  But my heart hurt today because you aren’t here with me.  I was driving home and thinking about how my friends gave me dog related gifts and the two dog plaques that I got to take to my office.  And where would I put them?  Which got me to thinking about your lovely big picture of you chasing your bubbles and so happy.  And then it shot through my heart that you weren’t going to be at home when I got there.  It made my heart physically hurt as much as it did the moment you left.

Maybe my playing with my friend’s pup Sadie also reminded me of you.  She is a little brindle  bulldog.  And while you were not a brindle, it does have the link to why you were named Brendol (long story hunh).  But her hair was short and sleek like yours and she was so solid and rolly polly.  You were so solid, I loved holding you in my arms.  I wish I could have kept you safe forever, even from cancer.  But it wasn’t meant to be.

I miss you my baby girl, and I wish you were here for me to hold.  I love you.  I will always love you.

Your momma,


Author: Karma

My furry family and I live in Atlanta. I care for a 12 year old pittbull mix (Brendol) who underwent an amputation of her front right leg for bone cancer. I also care for a 10 1/2 year old chow/border collie mix (Aissa) and two sister cats that are 3 (Mathilde and Morrigan).

9 thoughts on “Merry Christmas Baby”

  1. Karma,
    I can relate to how you feel. There is something about the holidays that does bring a melancholy. You miss your bubbly Brendol and you will keep on missing her because she was a piece of your heart. I hope time will help and you will smile when you think of your angel.

  2. I totally relate to how you feel. I broke down several times today. It just wasn’t the same without Sassy here. Bosch opened his packages but I was waiting for Sassy to rip into hers like she always did. The girls opened theirs instead. Brendol was with you in spirit just not in physical form.

    Michelle & Angel Sassy

  3. My Dear Sweet Karma,

    “Holidays” can be THE most joyous time…AND…it can be a brutally sad time too. It plays with the emotions of anyone who has lost a loved one in a way that just can rip your heart to shreds. The next minute your heart is filled with heartwarming memories that take you back in time…and then the cycle repeats itself. You just want it to be like it was.

    If you feel like it, now or later, would love to hear the “long story” of how Brendol got her name. “Solid and roly poly”? Brendol was never a roly poly was she? Of course, we all know we are referring to…as you so delicately call Happy Hannah…a “well muscled” girl!

    The ONLY thing I can say, is to remind yourself that Brendol would hate to see you so sad because she had to cross over. She would be pushing every wonderful memory she could come up with through “time and space” and infuse them into every single thought of yours tonight. Just immerse yoirself in her love as she is immersing herself into yours…right now…her love is always surronding you…. like a great big lovely BUBBLE!

    Sendingnyou love,

    Sally and Happy Hannah

    1. Thanks Sally. No, Brendol was never really a roly poly. At her largest, she was 60 pounds. That was with a tiny bit extra, but she was always built like a body builder. Love the solid girls.

      The story about her name… 😀 Well, I kind of gently took Brendol from a guy I was seeing that wasn’t taking good care of her. I said, hey, why don’t you let her stay in my back yard where she can run around. And then I never gave her back. This guy erroneously thought she was a brindle colored pup… which obviously she was not. She was faun colored. She was already used to her name and it kind of fit her. But I didn’t want everyone thinking I was the idiot that thought she was brindle colored. So I looked up alternatives and found a mountain in Italy called Brendol. I changed the spelling. That way people probably just thought I was an idiot in her coloring AND in how to spell it. 😀

  4. Ah, those moments of realization, where the pain cuts like a knife, are so hard! They will get fewer and farther between with the passage of time but will still sneak up on you, even years down the road. Its part of the price we pay for giving our hearts away to such perfect creatures who leave us far too soon for our liking.

    Sending you peace and love from the Oaktown Pack on this Christmas night.

  5. Thanks Karma, for sharing her beginning with you! Another “meant to be”! And named after a mountain in Italy……really like all the “deeper” meaning stuff in her namesake…STRONG…MAGNIFICENT…MAJESTIC…AWE INSPIRING…SACRED..PRISTINE

    Good job Karma. Her name fit her perfectly.

  6. Karma, I know you’re probably glad that day is over. The first holidays without our beloved kids is rough, I remember it well and never want to repeat it. Unfortunately I just can’t help loving dogs so I know I’m doomed to live it again someday, but hopefully not for a very long time.

    My heart goes out to you. May Brendol hold you close with her love and devotion. That never goes away.

  7. Aww karma just saw this. I’m sorry 🙁 I wish there were some perfect wise heart mending words I can share but know I hope for nothing but the best for you. Brendol was such a lucky girl.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *