Just Keep Swimming

“Just Keep Swimming” is one of my favorite lines from a movie… “Finding Nemo”.  I often use it in my everyday life to remind me to…well…just keep swimming.  This is one of those days. 

I should start with, Thing Are Going Good.  Brendol is doing really well.  She is having a little trepidation about going UP the steps now, but has mastered the going down.  I hope this is just a phase.  She went through the amputation with flying colors, ate well, no problems with the pain meds, and just hunkered down a little and cuddled with me on the couch a lot, which I didn’t mind one bit. 

This morning, we got the stitches out and met with the internist to discuss chemo.  I have been waffling back and forth about it.  And honestly, I am still not sure.  But we went ahead and started the chemo today… 4 to 6 treatments every 3 weeks of carboplatin.  I just got the call that my baby girl is done with her treatment and ready to go home.  I’ve got her hanging out there while I work and will pick her up this afternoon.  Fortunately, she also loves going to the vets.  She is a sucker for attention.  And most people that see her are sucker for giving it to her.

Miss Brendol posing for the camera this weekend.
Miss Brendol posing for the camera this weekend.

Here’s my baby girl from this weekend.  All of our friends that saw this picture stated how young she looked.  See Brendol is a 12 year old gal, so we’ve got a little mileage.  But because she has been so healthy up til this cancer crap, we are giving that chemo a shot. 

Driving to the office after leaving her for her treatment, I have felt sick to my stomach.  I think its a culmination of the whole thing, not just the chemo.  Because I’ve read from many forum posts that the chemo doesn’t bother them that much, so I know in my heart that this will be ok.  But, I guess, I just hate her having to go through any of this.  Unfortunately, many of my friends will not understand my decision.  When I first found out about the osteosarcoma and that amputation was a possibility, many of them were sympathetic to me but also “awww, I hope you don’t put her through that”.  Well, I did put her through that.  And when I talked about the possibilities of chemo, they also were like, “aww Karma, that’s so sad, I hope you don’t decide to do that”.  One of my friends is very vocal and her point of reference is that she has undergone chemo twice with breast cancer.  I explained to her all that I had read about dogs not having the side effects as bad as humans, but she wouldn’t have it.  Nobody knows yet that we decided to go through with it.  So I just have to hunker down for any judgements they may feel free to pass my way and prepare to blow them off.

I have to admit I have not been very productive at the office ever since her diagnosis.  My mind keeps reeling with weighing all the options and trying to decide what is the right thing to do for both of us.  I’ve read so many forums and blogs and articles that my head is spinning.  And all I really want to do is stay at home and curl up with my sweet pea. 

But, have to work.  So here I am.  Just keep swimming.  Just keep swimming.

Author: Karma

My furry family and I live in Atlanta. I care for a 12 year old pittbull mix (Brendol) who underwent an amputation of her front right leg for bone cancer. I also care for a 10 1/2 year old chow/border collie mix (Aissa) and two sister cats that are 3 (Mathilde and Morrigan).

8 thoughts on “Just Keep Swimming”

  1. and I feel your pain too, I have to leave my Jill at the oncologists all day while she gets treatment while I go to work. It’s very hard and I can never concentrate on those days….but we do what we can I suppose!!!!

  2. I was thinking she looked young too.

    Sometimes all we can do is keep swimming. I know it’s so hard. Wouldn’t it be great if there was actually a way we could know, without doubt, what the right thing is.

  3. Awh! I understand how it is with older dogs going through surgery, my 15 year old just had his front left leg amputated on Valentines Day! I’m sure she will be strong and pull through 🙂

  4. She’s so darn cute! And drat to your friends! You’d think the breast cancer survivor would want to bond with precious Brendol. You should have the 2 of them play together in a few days, so everyone can relish in how well she’s doing! Way to go, Brendol!

    1. Thanks. I think she’s pretty darn cute, but I’m biased. I have to give a piece of credit to my breast cancer friend…she has come to see Brendol and love on her every few days. I just know she won’t agree with my decision.

  5. I love that line “just keep swimming”. I’m going to remember that!
    Friends reactions can be disappointing. I must have sent out pretty strong “don’t mess with me” vibes because no-one said anything to me about my choices(although I’m sure some of them were thinking it). I knew the friends I could talk to openly about what I was doing, all the fears etc, and they are the ones I leaned on for support. I’m sure you know which ones you can count on too.

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