When I’m Sixty-Four

When i get older losing my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine.
If i’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When i’m sixty-four

Why the Beatles song about age???  Well, I have some good news, but it’s sad in its own way.  Brendol has been having a hard week being very tired and not wanting to eat as willingly (but with gusto if hand fed).  She’s had me very worried and so I have taken her to see all the vets and get all sorts of tests done.  The urinalysis came back just fine last week and the CBC came back fine from Saturday.  Only thing noted during her visits was a slight heart murmur that we were instructed to just have checked out the next time we do a chest x-rays.   That is all wonderful news, so the kidneys and liver are not indicating that there are any problems in functioning.  The rimadyl that we were given seemed to help a little bit, so possibly my Brendol is just having some aches and pains of being an older girl.

That’s the sad part.  I don’t want her to be old.  Because if she is old, our days are numbered.  I don’t want her to have cancer.  Because with cancer, our days are numbered.  I know, all of our days are numbered.  Just seeing her so tired is painful for me because I know we can never go back.  Last week, standing at the veterinary office checking out and paying the bill, she just stood there so nice waiting to go.  I remembered the days (not so long ago) that she would have been pulling at her leash and bouncing around and I would have been frustrated with her for not sitting still so I could take care of everything.   And now I long for that bubbly bouncy exuberant girl.

My friend, Darline, came to visit on Friday and Brendol got her cuddle time with Aunt Darline.  Darline won’t like this picture, but this just shows how sweet my baby girl is.

So, with all that said… we will be ok.  Momma just has to get used to our new normal.  Take each day as it comes.  Wag our tails with whatever gusto we have available.

Tear alert at this point forward… found a sweet poem about our aging pups.


Their joys are simple. A soft bed. A scrap fallen from the table that the younger dogs missed. The memory of a treed squirrel. A stormless night.

White whiskered faces and legs crooked as question marks.

Old Dogs…their sweet Buddha bellies hang over crossed legs as they fall asleep in a coveted patch of sun. Dreaming of out-racing their shadows down long, shady lanes.

Once they danced by your side. The very definition of joy unleashed. A perfect poem caught in shining eyes and wagging tails. They have followed you faithfully for years. And would plunge into fires, untamed wildernesses, raging waters if you asked.

Now, they struggle to catch up. Their pace slow but their hearts still valiant.
Their cloudy eyes are starting to dim and go distant, tuning in to some invisible world. Just beyond your reach.

Don’t go you say, as you scratch the tender part between their ears. Stay longer. I can’t imagine a world without your fur pressed close to my cheek. There are still so many roads we haven’t explored.

And they look up at you with a wisdom that just slays you.

Their backs are bent, not from the weight of years, but from the invisible wings they are growing
That will soon take them to a place where once more they are warriors of speed
Drunk with the sights and scents of a thousand meadows.
Able to leap high enough to touch the wing of the tiniest butterfly.

A place where they will now wait for you to catch up.

– Donna Swajeski

Author: Karma

My furry family and I live in Atlanta. I care for a 12 year old pittbull mix (Brendol) who underwent an amputation of her front right leg for bone cancer. I also care for a 10 1/2 year old chow/border collie mix (Aissa) and two sister cats that are 3 (Mathilde and Morrigan).

8 thoughts on “When I’m Sixty-Four”

  1. Ohhh Karma, that was soooo beautiful. This site has pretty much had me in tears all day for various reasons and your post is no exception! That was lovely—so poignant.

    And it is good news overall for Brendol today! Gosh, what we would all give to have our pets become seniors and get to experience “senioritis” Of course, that’s until their “maturity” catches up with them and then we start experiencing the “no–wait–not yet” feelings!

    Brendol is teaching us all how to grow older with dignity and enjoying just being with her beloved family. She’s not going anywhere anytme soo ! She’s merely taking life at a slower pace and eeking out all the spoili g she can get! And goodness knows, she’s getting plenty:-)

    She’s taking this time to share her wisdom with you and the other “youngsters”. She knows she still has a job to do!

    Your Brendol is such a cuddle bug! I love that picture of her just thoroughly being with her Auntie! Brendol is enjoying showing her contentment and how mch she just enjoys being surrounded by love.

    Karma, what is her age anyway?
    All her tests show that physically she’s in really good shape! Slowing down almost seems like it’s more sore muscles, aches and pains that really do slow ya down!

    Did the vet suggest prednisone to entice her appetite? Or is it that she’s eating..-.but only if hand fed! Brendol kows how to use this “old age” thing to her advantage:-)

    Congratulations on good test results Brendol! Now I’ve got to get that Beatles so g out of my head!

    I know, I’ll switch to——-“loves e, she .oves me…..loves me like a rock……momma loves me likea rock-…..oh yeah…

    And those who naven’t seen that blog are sayi g.–WT..-.?

    Loce you Brendol and Karma AND all the pack!!

    Sally and happy Hannah

    PS…You oughta’ re-post that slide show video so all the newbies can see how hapoy dogs can be after amp.!!! YES! PLEASE!

  2. Spot on for where I am with quad pug Tani. She turned 13 in June and in addition to everything else wrong with her she has mast cell cancer (going on 6 years!). I’ve never made it this far before, Tri-Pug Maggie passed at 11 and wasn’t really showing old age signs. Tani is a different story- on the plus side she has finally stopped jumping off the furniture on her own, on the down side I miss my reckless little pug girl! But I am blessed to be able to experience this part of life with her. I’m glad that Brendol is doing well.

  3. Very beautiful Karma. I am crying all over my keyboard.

    Its good news that everything blood work came back good. I hate getting old myself.

    Hugs to you and Baby B. We love her.
    Hugs to you

    Michelle & Sassy

  4. Karma I know exactly how you feel. Our time with our babies is already so short andthe cancer makes us hold on to each day especially when they are older. The upside? That is just what we need as we so often let life pass us by and don’t noticethe small things that matter.

    So glad to hear all the tests are coming back with good results.

    Big squinches to Brendol and you.

    Luanne and Shooter

  5. I ache for you and Brendol. There is something magical about old dogs. Coal lived to 15 1/2. I remember when he started to change and I started worrying about time. But he kept going. He had his aches and pains. He went deaf which was good in a way. No more terror at wind, thunder or fireworks. His vision dimmed. But he was still Coal and we squeezed so much life out of those last few years. Brendol may surprise you yet. Try not to be too sad (I know it’s unavoidable), but remember when you are sad you are cherishing a beautiful and special relationship.

  6. Thanks for the tears Karma, that was beautiful.

    I’m glad B is otherwise fine, what a lucky girl she is to have you as a Momma.

    It’s hard to watch time take its toll; I can only imagine how that feels since I’ve never been through the k9 aging process. But what I do understand is the depth of the love that you have for her and your special relationship. For now, its there for you to treasure each and every day. Day by day, enjoy your time together and remember whether someone is old or young, that’s really all we have.


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